Friday, 19 February 2010

Avatar is shit. It really is.

Right, so after after everyone saying I should watch this, I finally gave in, and did. and you know what?

It's fucking useless.

Blobs of fanboy jizz float gracefully through the air

And before you ask I didn't watch this profound-as-a-puddle epic in 3D. It's like someone asking if you saw Amityville 3D or Jaws 3D. It begs the question why would you want an extra dimension of shitness?

You've probably all seen it by now so I'm not going to go into much detail but:

  • Blue people = Look plastic
  • Real actors = Are wooden
  • Special effects = Nearly as good as anything in real life
  • Plot = Makes Postman Pat look like The Godfather
  • Sigourney Weaver = Not good as a ginger
  • Marines = All a bit thick and homoerotic

Score 2/10

(would have been 1 if I'd seen it in 3d)

I called it on Titanic (which I still haven't seen) at the time and I'm calling it here. Just you look back in a few years.

Alarm's ringing. It won't stop....

Wuh...what?? Oh where was I?