Thursday, 31 January 2008

Itsa Me! Racist Sterotype!

Fuck off Dolmio.

Take your racist steroetypes and fuck off. Go and peddle your overpriced mashed up tomatoes to some other fucker.

This pizza-eating, scooter-riding, bum-pinching fuck nut isn't buying it.

Justa like Mamma used to mayka!

Oh my christ! I've just had a look at their site. The title of the site is, and I shit you not "When'sa Your Dolmio Day?". No that isn't a typo, it's some twat copywriter in an agency being incompetent.


Look. Here's a header from the site to show you that I'm not making this up.

One finger of your twix belongs up your arse, the other down your cock hole

Masterfoods are wankers. And Mars bars are shite.

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Roll Up, Roll up. It's Rez Wednesday!

Well it's finally here. Rez HD hit this morning I am stuck at work and then tonight meeting mates later.

Why oh why oh why does it have to happen like this?

I want to play this:

Mmmmm thumping

With this tickling my prostate:

Mmmmm pumping

Tuesday, 29 January 2008

My spare time ups and walks out of the door

Oh for fuck's sake, an auction that I forgot I'd won just came through the post today.

Puzzle Quest DS. Just in case I didn't have enough fun grinding to get past that fucker on Xbox live I now have the joy of doing it on DS too!

Goodbye life, Hello eyestrain

Christ, I don't think I can slot this in the machine until I leave work, the country, or even shuffle off this mortal coil.

Dugog Caught in Two-Headed-Freak Killing

Fuck you, you fucking ogre.

I've got a real life too and I don't want to spend it battling some cheap cunt who likes to think "He's all that".

Dugog sadly had little worth giving a shit about in his treasure chest

Take my lovely Giant Rat mount and stuff it in your prolapsed arse.

Monday, 28 January 2008

What's the fucking point?

The pills are killing me.

Work's doing my head in.

Oh and Dugog is a cunt can fuck right off.

It's not just me either. This young lady seems to agree.

What a twat.

Take a right at the mountains and go and burn his house down

Friday, 25 January 2008


Live was screwed up for the few weeks over Xmas. As an apology the folks at Xbox decided to throw in a free game. Undertow.

Can you see anything? Can you fuck.

In concept the game seems like it'll be fun. A type of conquer bases (a bit like Domination in UT) affair but in 2D. Seems sound huh?

Bollocks is it. You can't see what the fuck you're doing at any point the sprites are so small. I know that my eyes give me grief and I'm not going to even dredge up the age old wanking joke cliche, but this is beyond a joke.

It's fucking unplayable. Save your bandwidth. You'll have more fun out of a Frogger demo.

A shit

Puzzle Quest

Just got this after a points splurge on XBLA.

Truly great game if you don;t mind the Zoo Keeper type puzzling. I'm a bit shit at it at the moment but it's just so very more-ish.

Good stuff indeed. And I know I'm late to the boat. Bear the fuck with me.

Zoo Keeper

Omega Five

Great stuff on Xbox Live Arcade.

I've been really enjoying this. The score mechanic and combo system works excellently and has some lovely little touches. I'm now competing to get to the top of my friends list leaderboard.

Really really nice although...on the first level on my telly I can't see any of the ice that the fucking gorilla thing shoots out as there's not enough contrast. Really fucking annoying. And yes I've tried changing my telly settings.

It annoys but aside from that truly ace shmup. Very recommended.

Omega Five